So recently, I’ve made a bold move with regards to coming out of the proverbial weed closet. It actually just happened by me leaving my guard down when it comes to smoking weed anyway. At least I let my guard when I feel I’m in a safe place such as at a house or really anywhere in Holland.
Basically, I left my weed kit lying on the table, mostly because I was pretty stoned having forgot to put it back in my drawer, and my mom came home. She asked me “what is that? Do you smoke?” pointing at the bag of shag tobacco that was most prominently lying on the table. I told her “only when I smoke weed mom”. She then asked me why I was doing this. I then told her that it helps me creatively and helps me gain a different perspective on life’s challenges.
“You know its illegal right?” she remarked. On which I responded with my explanation of why it is illegal.
As a mom she couldn’t care less about justice but only about the safety of her son and him not landing in prison. I can see how that can be an issue. However, I believe in doing what I think is right, not what society or the government thinks is right because we’ve seen how wrong they’ve been in the past.
Marijuana helps me in more ways than I can count, and I don’t even smoke it that much. I’m not really that into alcohol because it clouds my judgement whereas marijuana taps into a part of my brain that is left untapped. It gets me in a positive mood and creates a new hunger for life inside of me as I get excited by the different projects I’m able to undertake and what I can build around me in my direct environment.
I’m not under the influence as I’m currently typing, although I’m definitely considering it after I come back from taekwondo. That’s a new thing I started by the way. Along with yoga. It’s giving me structure to my life, something I really need.
I also feel myself expanding my circle of influence around me starting with my parents and slowly moving out to my community and my tribe, attempting to create more stable relationships than I have in the past. I feel reborn after my 22nd birthday: I found a true friend, I’m living in a more constant state of love, and feel myself becoming more independent which is leading to interdependent possibilities. There’s a lot of good energy coming my way and I just have to stay my course.
This last month in Thailand I won’t try to go anywhere more special. I just want to be here and expand the rich life I can live here rather than trying to live fragments here and there while travelling. I want to build my own skills and my ability to expand my circle of influence within one area. What I’m trying to do is create a lifestyle, and ideally, a lifestyle that’s sustainable in the sense that it matches with all the factors of people, planet and profit.
I see profit potential in turning this house into a resort for people to come to and stay a couple of weeks, or longer even. I’m thinking like a week to 6 months and be part of the family. But in order to do that, I need to find a way for people that come here to generate value in terms of revenue or service. Maybe I just need to start by inviting more friends over to the house and letting it turn into this thing I envision more organically. That’s definitely what I want to do anyway.
I got dreams that take time to realize. But I like writing about it. That’s a skill I’d like to build myself as well which is why I’m revamping my 30 day blog trial of writing a blog everyday. My writing covers a lot of topics at the moment but maybe there’s a chance for me to find some focus somewhere. Until that day, I’ll just keep surfing this train of thought and see how the waves are tomorrow when it’s time for another blog.