Tomatoes and interacting with my mom

My realization for today lies in the interaction I had with my mom. I left a job in the garden quite scruffy by leaving dirt on the pathway, and this annoyed my mom. Her response was to angrily brush the dirt off the path whilst scolding me about leaving work half finished or something. I told my mom to calm down because 1) the stress isn’t good for her and 2) she was brushing dirt on top of my baby tomato plants so I took her tool away from her and finished the job.

What did I learn here?

Well, it should’ve been on me to finish the job and brush the dirt off the pathway but I think I handled the situation quite effectively by taking charge, and not letting my mom’s emotional discharge spill over. I contained it by keeping calm, and proceeding with the necessary actions.

I actually had something like this happen earlier as well, involving the tomato plants as well. It was about where to start a tomato garden. I thought it’d be a good idea to start one right next to the nursery so that I could keep an eye on everything at the same time, and besides, we had a lot of space to do it. My mom gets annoyed when things change around her, especially if she doesn’t get notified (maybe that was more it). She thought it would ruin the walking space and told me to do it in the far backyard instead. I tried to argue at first, but quickly gave in deciding to check out the backyard at least. I walked over, but I didn’t have a clue to where I would plant my plants which I reported back to my mom. I told her that she should tell me exactly where to plant them. She then gave in to my idea.

I think there’s another situation I handled effectively. Instead of resisting her objection, I went with it which resulted in having my mother needing to put more energy into planning and decision making. After giving my mom this power, she then faltered as she might not have expected me to coincide giving the power back to me.

I find that in general, its easier not to argue with women, regardless of whether you think they’re right or wrong, or what they are saying makes no logical sense. It’s more about the respect you give to their opinion. As long as they receive this respect, you will both be better off. I’m not saying not to provide any counter argument, or to discuss decisions, but give them the right of way and at least try to follow what they are saying. They’ll appreciate it. This is not about trying to be “the alpha male” or being dominant within the group; this is about being a leader, and respecting the opinions of those in your team by showing that you’ll at least try their idea.

I’ll try to keep note of small interactions like this in the future. They could prove useful 🙂

That’s it for now!

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